Everything had changed. The rolling emerald hills had just become clumps of dirt; the birds’ incessant chirping, just infuriating screeches and the gorgeous butterflies, simply coloured bats. Sheets of sapphires poured down upon me. It seemed only fitting that even the angels cried that I had become the monster I was. My mind was being churned into a pulp of bewilderment and disbelief. Had it really just happened? Had my humanity disappeared into those unfathomable pits staring up at me? The world started to spiral in front of me and soon I was living through the torture once more…
A grin is plastered on my countenance. I shout a farewell to my parents and quickly jaunt across the street and through the avenues bordered by trees standing high and mighty. The monuments of bark wear apparels of gold, orange, russet, and pigments I cannot even describe. The birds sing up beyond, their songs meandering through the alleyways and to my ears.
The bus stop comes into my sight. There seems to be no one there except Jane. My eyes twinkled with excitement. Overflowing with enthusiasm, I run over.
“Happy birthday,” I screech the moment I am in earshot.
She looks my way and, when she sees me, smiles cheekily, “I knew you would be the first person to wish me! This place is so empty huh? Looks like everyone’s dead!”
I giggle, “Well, anyways I got you a special gift!”
Exhilaration seems to pour out of her like sunshine through a thin, white cloth. I can see she really wants this but teasing her is my speciality. I chuckle, “But you have to wait.” She frowns at me light-heartedly.
“That is so not fair!” she says pushing me playfully.
“Yes it is so fair!” I laugh, pushing her back.
And that was when it happened. It was just a flash of red. A scream. A blare of horns. And then silence. “What, Jane where are you?” I panicked, “don’t joke with me!” My heart started thumping. I didn’t dare look at the road. But there was no one giggling, “You fell for it!” It was just deafening silence. I started to cry and fell to my knees. I could hear the muffled shouts of adults behind me, see the shocked faces staring at me. I mustered the courage to look back and I could see her. Her body.
Stumbling, I walk over and barely manage to muffle the strange blend of a sob and a scream that so desperately wanted to escape my lips. Her auburn hair was matted down with blood, her mouth fixed in an eternal yell and her eyes staring up, accusing me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran from there. Ran as fast as I could. Every second reminded me of every breath she didn’t get to breathe, of every dream she didn’t get to follow and of every memory we didn’t get to share. It was over. Everything was over.

 

 

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18 thoughts on ““Dominoes” – A Short Story By Saanya Verma

  1. What an incredible writing style and imagination backed with powerful vocabulary. Saanya indeed is a little miracle. I really wish my daughters grow up like Saanya, supremely talented yet very grounded. Congratulations to her parents. Thanks Prerna Tambay

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wrote this on your mom’s face book wall, I repeat cos I want to see you in that gown one day! Cheers to that day!

    “Saanya! mark my words, when you hold that ‘Noble’ in your hand, just oblige me with a selfie!! way to go my gal!”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Received the below message and its such positive strokes that enable one to evolve more:

    “I just finished reading the story. It is very well written. She has got a flare for language. It comes through both in her poems and prose writing. Her prose is also very poetic, very evocative. Some of the expressions are extraordinary. For example, ‘monuments of bark wearing apparels of orange and gold’ and ‘like sunshine pouring out through white and transparent cloth’. She has all the essentials of s good writer. Tell her to keep writing. Ask her to maintain an intellectual diary.” Nunu

    Like

  4. Thank you for this beautiful message also:

    Beautifully penned 😊
    Just the beginning !
    A long way to go !
    HEARTIEST
    CONGRATULATIONS !!!
    Stay blessed ♡
    Sarita Garabadu

    Like

  5. Unbelievable is the word ( I myself got lost )…. Saanya is a truly a gifted child and I must say her parents are the best supporting tools she has which only makes it easier for her to move forward in leaps ……….

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dearest Saanu ,
    I am completely in utter shock as to how a 11 year old can write so beautifully. I loved the way you throw light on every aspect of the scenarios. The detailing, the sequences .. So good ! You have the power to take your readers to a different world that you create in your story. Also you have the power to make your readers go through a dictionary several times 😛 I am awestruck with your vocabulary and imagination skills.

    Hats off to your parents for guiding you in everything that you are.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Very well done, Saanya! Congratulations on this well crafted piece. You’ve a brilliant future ahead, as a writer, on anything you choose to write about. Your narration is gripping, description vivid and characterisation captivating. Bravo!

    In terms of feedback, if you may permit, I just have one observation:
    //…..It seemed only fitting that even the angels cried that I had become the monster I was. …..Had my humanity disappeared into those unfathomable pits staring up at me? ….//
    The above two sentences could appear to a reader as if the narrator of the story was, somehow, more than just an observer to the most unfortunate event, they drag the person as an accomplice to an avoidable mishap. I am not sure if you deployed them (un-)intentionally. I’d like to believe it was unintended.

    I look forward to reading more from you, on lot more varying subjects; life affirming ones too! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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